p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
