I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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