My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
