the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
