Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
