My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
