AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
