I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize