member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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