She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
