everyone is single if you try hard enough
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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