id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
