I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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