is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize
