Having a random hookup so left but love u
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
