and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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