The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
