went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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