what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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