i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
