Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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