I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
