Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Randomize
