Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She's the barista slut.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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