Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Randomize
