I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
