I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
