I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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