There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
