I molested 6 butterflies tonight
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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