Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
