When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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