I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
