She said her name was "party"
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
