I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize