Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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