that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Randomize
