ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
