I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
