I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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