Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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