My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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