Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
