Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize