guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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