Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
