i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
