I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
