youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
