I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
