you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Randomize
