Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
that's an acceptable place to lick
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
