She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Randomize
