I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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