There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
my poor anus
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
