How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
