He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
