She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
im having a threesome with these popsicles
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize