There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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