Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize