I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
