By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
There r osticjed everywhere
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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